memories of a gender confused scythe boy

what to say...

Wed, 20 Dec 2006 01:36:30 GMT

ok.....well ive kind of got nothing to say , i mean ive got lots to say but really no feelings to put on this little blog of mine. i cut my thumb open today pretty badly

developing a case of whimsy

Mon, 18 Dec 2006 18:34:34 GMT

i dont know. i havent been feeling myself. i did somethign on a whim and it worked, but that doesnt sound like me. maybe all my time spent working has led me to develope a case of whimsy. i feel odd inside. for the first time in over a year, truly i feel different. its like something went away. maybe tha rain ootside has washed away my sorrow. ill never know. but i feel good.

hello

Mon, 16 Jan 2006 22:44:06 GMT

why it has been a while. well im getting sicker and im feeling much more like hayate from naruto each day. school is going. applying to schools soon but so far away well to you little sister hope you reply so i can know how your doing

meh life is life

Mon, 28 Nov 2005 03:47:42 GMT

its been a while...ok people i feel horrible...i feel sick and i cant help my good friend out. i went to lazer quest friday hoping to spend tim ewith kimi and my frieds but my friends baile don me and kimi had her bf...so in the end i was left all alone sitting in the cold for over an hour...all i wanted to was talk to her..school is interestin....boring and interestin....i dont really like my engish class...damn snoppish ap kids...why am i not good enough for kimi? i must be a horrible person for her not to wanna see me at all..i try being her knight but it fails..my home life sucks...........i need a real family....something to believe in i guess...faith is just a word but belief builds on it...i belive i love kimi so i will try harder...the lotus of bristol wll become stronger or de trying...

meh

Fri, 07 Oct 2005 00:14:39 GMT

i feel better. my chemical romance is happening in like 9 days and cant wait. hopefully ill be able to meet cori there. its funny cori was the things that i thought about before i went to bed the other day.
i have a 92 in pre cal and an 81 in anatomy and phisiology. yippie and in my ap classes horrid grades that are going up.... so yeah hopefully i meet cori

why

Sun, 02 Oct 2005 23:08:26 GMT

why is life worth it all. why not just commit suicide. its nt that hard just a little gash would do and then no more pain...... why cant you talk to me anymore what the hell is wrong with me. i loved you, i really did. now i cant trust anyone. youve ruined my already shitty life. i hope your happy. i hope youhave fun with your life. its not even worth it is it, to me it is. you were one fo the few people to meet me and see me for who i was. i am nothing, i am death i am a punisher. thats my role in this life. brett isnt even alive anymore he hasnt been alive for weeks. i feel like a fucking shell to house this pain. why cant i die, others have. what damn purpose do i hold in this forsaken world? am i really to unite? who the fuck cares i want to become a doctor. when i finally get my degree then, i can do as i please. be able to save the lives to redeem for the ones i lost. i have no life. there is only a shell

blurg

Sun, 18 Sep 2005 14:23:34 GMT

man life is so boring. things with kimi arent looking much better than last entry. i visited skyler's college and i like it. im goign to visit again i liked it alot. i made friends with paul and it was a fun experience. th rooms are small but cool. im beginning to liek this girl rachel. not sure why but shes cool. i really dont know wat i ant in my life. i wanna be a doctor so i can help those who cant help themselves. but int he end ill just nd up liek faust the 8th my love will be killed when we are happiest i know. why is everythign so boring and easy yet intricate and hard. its going to cost like 300 dollars to send out my applications to schools. i narrowed down to 5 i wanna go to. mass college of pharm, uconn, st josephs, sacred heart and boston university. awww good times indeed

fuck life

Sat, 10 Sep 2005 17:44:18 GMT

all my life is endless pain. im nothing. the person i care about most wont ven answer me anymore and i loved her. i believed i truly did. but never will i know. i stuck by your side because i felt whole around you, just seeing you smile. it feels like a hole as ben ripped into my black heart. alienated from all i thought i found a partner in you but no. you gave me false hope. now its the only thing i truly have lost is hope what am i the man in black? jesus of suburbia? no im just a scorn person who feels like dying or getting amnesia to forget a certain person

so tired

Fri, 19 Aug 2005 13:42:49 GMT

yo what up my friends? i havce just gotten back from nyc and boston and i am tired.i missed talkign to kimi alot and i really wanna hold her hand and meet her. shes so great and i am feeling happy but tired but its a new thing for me these days

Wed, 17 Aug 2005 13:33:01 GMT

wow. i feel so much better. i like a girl kimi and she is possibly one of the cutest girls i have ever seen. hen we talked t felt like i had known her for so long, its wierd. well im feelign rather well today so chip chip cherio

why meeeee

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 02:23:20 GMT

i gave you all i had, you could have it all. i dotn want it anymore, ever damn dream ive held onto is rubbish. why keeping holding onto them?

god damn it i hate it all. why cant i find the person for me. i begin to feel very attached but int he end you will never care about me more than just a friend. why, hy must you do this to me. i like you so much but in the end its nothing. i sat by yourside when you were hurtign but whos there to sit by me. am i going to die in the end?

pissed off and what not

Thu, 21 Jul 2005 21:32:20 GMT

ok so im kind of pissed off. at who you may ask myself. i am just goign to ramble on because i am unimportant and worthless to this damn world where i am no ones. i am just so depressed these days, i am always there but never it seems will i be the people who i likes special person, i am just a friend thats all it ever seems. well i dont want that i want to be more i want to feel. you dont now how i feel i know ou say you do but you dont. i amno ones friend im just hre for your amusement and to be hurt so much more over time. i hate it, i hate it all. i put myself through mental and emotion torture just you could have soemoen be there and not be alone whiel your friends left. i esih for so much more i hate living and i hate the word love.

why is it i had to see it, why coudltn i just avoid anime. i fuckign hate it all but im tied doen because of what i love. why cant i be normal, but if i was normal would it be worth loosing all i hold closest to my heart, i dont kno wnaymore i just want someone to love me i guess. to know i am not alone and to know that someone wishes to talk to me and care.

arg

Sun, 05 Jun 2005 13:02:47 GMT

You scored as Cultural Creative. Cultural Creatives are probably the newest group to enter this realm. You are a modern thinker who tends to shy away from organized religion but still feels as if there is something greater than ourselves. You are very spiritual, even if you are not religious. Life has a meaning outside of the rational.

</td>

Cultural Creative

75%

Romanticist

63%

Existentialist

44%

Modernist

44%

Postmodernist

44%

Materialist

38%

Fundamentalist

31%

Idealist

25%

What is Your World View? (updated)
created with QuizFarm.com

this makes sense i guess, always dreaming for a new tomorrow and tryign to fix thew world. not really sure though since im really depressed at the moment

quizes more of them

Sun, 08 May 2005 15:17:24 GMT

You're a very mellow, care-free person. Your
exactly what calm, cool, and collected mean.
You never overreact or panic in a bad situation
and you always know what to do. Everyone goes
to you for advice because you never lose your
head so your very reliable. You tend to take
everything in stride, like in school your moto
is just sit back and relax not to say you dont
pay attention and work, but you dont overexert
yourself. Even though people come to you for
counciling(sp?) you can still be very quite,
your not good with making new friends, but your
extremely close to the ones you have. Remember
its ok to put your emotions out there even
though there is a chance they might get hurt.
Also in school sometimes its good to stress out
a little, just because you think you dont need
to study doesnt mean you should'nt, and also
try to push yourself more even though you might
be good where you are doesnt mean you can,t be
better. Check out my new short story.

Whats Your Personality(with PICS)
brought to you by Quizilla

Methos

Which Highlander Villian are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

i am the spirit of sadness

Sun, 08 May 2005 14:34:35 GMT

You are the Spirit of Sadness. Deep pain and sorrow
lie within you, betrayal, jealousy and
rejection rule your life. You cannot make
friends as you are too scared at the prospect
of being hurt again and you can't take that
risk. You wish more than anything to have a
steady person there who loves you
unconditionally but you are too scared to find
them.

Which stunning spirit of emotion are you? NEW AND IMPROVED! (amazingly beautiful anime pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla
yep so im a truly sad person T_T

You are the 'regular' teen. Don't worry, alot of
people will get this result. However, you set
pretty high/low goals for yourself...and you
believe you are the only one in the world.
But, there are alot of people with your
attitude. You tend to wear regular clothing,
or you are forced to wear colors you don't want
to. (such as your mother always buying you
pink / blue clothing) Sometimes you feel
horribly lonely and want to hide, but as
always, you find something to give you reason
to continue. You can either hate or love
school, one opinion please. Never fear, you
are not one of a kind...and that is kinda nice
to hear, since there are other teenagers out
there with your exact view on life.

You
could get a job as an author, Teacher, editor,
architect, buisness owner, or administrator.
Good luck in life, and don't forget that no one
is ever alone.

What type of teenager are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
looks like im just a regular teenager going through my angsty worlg

Your Heart is Grey

What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla

You are Heroin (aka: smack, dope, brown sugar...).
You are the most dangerous drug between all
other kinds. You are bold, deep, dark,
mysterious, have your own world. You are
classified as class (A) illegal drugs.

What kind of Drugs are you? and how that reflect your personality?
brought to you by Quizilla

bahhhh

Tue, 26 Apr 2005 00:42:00 GMT

this is all so bothersome. why is there even a pee bucket if were not going to use it. im so bored and school is getting too easy. cmon challenge me someone. can i truly become such a great man as im tol di can be if im too bored to even do my hw. this is coming fromt he total slacker who is litrally a lazy genius. too bored to care. that i am

bitter sweet symphony

Thu, 14 Apr 2005 00:38:08 GMT

i am not long with liz. T_T, i am really alone at the moment and im so sorry liz for everything, i just cant be there for you like you deserve

the one day shall come

Fri, 08 Apr 2005 01:45:39 GMT

i am kind of tired. i really need to sleep. i havent gotten 5 hours of sleep for a week. im dying slowly of sleep defervation

hells bells mate

Thu, 07 Apr 2005 02:06:16 GMT

ok i am totally pissed for no reason at all. maybe it seems like im being called selfish by certain people. and love isnt coming to me. and im feeling rather pissed off at the moment because i am really depressing right now. my hand hurts, maybe its because it was the hand i used to pull out the dagger from my back.
one day there will be one
one person to overcome
one person to blow your fucking brains out with a sawed off barrle shotgun

i bet you thought it would be sappy didnt you. muhahahahaha. well bye for now

sad

Wed, 30 Mar 2005 03:11:51 GMT

ok so i am feeling really sad today. i went to go have fun but for some reason when i was there i just broke down,. i cant seem t get happier and the longer for affection really hit me when i saw my 2 friends together it really made me hurt inside and i cant take this damn pain anymore. i dont give a damn if people flame me but this is how i feel. why do i have to feel so alone and why cant i see the truth infront of me. am i so revolting i turn people away and do i deserve not to be able to feel the embrace of human contact. why o why must i feel this drilling pain in my soul. my soul might be a darkened soul with nothing but evil but i do still feel pain. it hurts alot and why cant i see my happiness. am i meant to have no happiness at all. is it all just a memory. am i reall alive or did i die and am looking for an excuse to stay here. am i reall so afraid of change i would keep myself like this and hurt myself just to watch other couples or are together and see them ecstatic. no i dont want to see them;. ive been hurt too many times. i just wish for what i cannot have

merry christmas

Sun, 27 Mar 2005 22:20:26 GMT

ok so marry christmas people

Generate your Anime Style by Jena-su
Name:
Hair:	Short and brightly coloured.
Clothes:	Simple, comfortable, everyday clothes.
Powers:	Psychic powers
Special Features:	Wings
Sidekick:	The great spirit of (insert character name of choice here), as channeled through whatever item you have onhand at the time.
Attitude:	Bouncy one minute, murderous the next. No one knows when you're going to mood-swing next.
Weapon:	Bow and arrows

Quiz created with MemeGen!

tkae the quiz and see what you are

bored

Sat, 26 Mar 2005 02:51:28 GMT

yes i have a really sick quiz

You're the smirk,a frown-smile hybrid that's a
little bit cocky and usually associated with
evil or arrogant,but attractive people.You
probably just don't give a damn,but it's
everyone else's fault if you don't because
you're too awesome to have any real faults.

What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
i am the all knowing and great smirk

broed

Fri, 25 Mar 2005 16:27:57 GMT

What would you look like as an Anime Charecter? (MODIFIED!) by tobyspit
Name:
Gender, Age, and Species:	Male; 2,487,100 ; Halfbreed (Demon/Human)
Walk of Life:	Sage
Hair Style:	Brushing the Floor with braided pigtails
Eyes Type and Color:	Sad, All white
Clothing:	Upper body armor(abs exposed), Red and White Kilt
Weapons and Accessories:	A torch, Bandana and cigarette
Memerable Quote:	"Your blood shall flow like fine wine."

Quiz created with MemeGen!

what would you do if you saw your own death? would you live on to die or fight to survive

bored

Fri, 31 Dec 2004 01:09:11 GMT

im so bored. im bored enough to take a rusty pen and shove it through my own hand. then to make it better i would like the blood up making sure to taste everybit of pain. noe that would be grreat

damn got damned fucking hellish crappy christmas

Thu, 23 Dec 2004 03:35:05 GMT

why the hell do we need x mas music. god damned fucking shitty crappy music. i feel like puting a damn gun to my head sometimes because of it. i hate this time of yr alot. i have nothing but bad memories. i cant get past how much i hate it.
i do have a great g/f i feel nad fer her. i give her so much grief i wonder if im worht the time. i mean she worries alot baout me.